OMG!!!  Ricky--I'm so totally freaked!!!  He was sitting facing me in bed and he reached over and put his finger on my--down there--so gently, and all of a sudden I got a rush of heat and started to shake, and feel like I was going to throw up, and started screaming and crying and freaking out, and I ran into the bathroom and put cold water on my face and put on my robe--I had to be dressed--couldn't be naked one more second and then I got in the bathtub and curled up and sobbed and sobbed--and I don't even know fucking why!!!!!  I must be going crazy.  I'm scared to go to bed, scared to make eye contact with him, just scared scared--he tried to talk to me in the bathroom and I just yelled at him to go away--I felt so unsafe--like I was naked in a dark alley in the middle of the night in Manhattan--but I was in my own fucking home!  I don't know what to do. I might call my therapist, but I doubt she'll call me back until the morning, and I don't know how I'm going to live that long!!

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